Monday, January 16, 2012

Beginnings Beget Endings

So. I suppose I should make something just a tad bit more clear, since I really glossed over it earlier in my usual style.
I'm not sure- nobody can be sure- but I'm... shall we say ' reasonably confident' that my next encounter with our mutual Tallish Friend will be the death of me.
Another thing I want to be clear about: I'm not going to fight the damn thing when the reaper comes collecting.
I'm 'confident', again, that 'The Construct' only wants to play with HHIZ food (metaphorically speaking... or not) before it dies. I'm not going to play that game, much as TPF would enjoy it. Fighting would prolong the inevitable; even if I do fend TPF off, then what? Some proxy comes for my gizzard later? Maybe my friends and family get torn apart so as to 'get to me'? I can't just RUN AWAY, that's for sure. The simple solution is the best. It gets me out of this game and nobody else can blame me if they get hurt.
But I may as well help with what I can before I go, right? Get the word out, lend a few gr(e?/a?)y cells to the interwebz... You get the drift.

I figure as long as I still have the power to ramble on about... well, anything... that I should take the time to clear up my thus-far vague timeline in respects to all of this. I don't expect you to care of course, but if you're going to read this anyway, I may as well entertain you somehow.

It starts for me a little over a year ago.
I spend a lot of time on Youtube, see. I like watching Let's Plays of games I don't play, music videos to songs I'm too cheap to buy on iTunes, finding pirated episodes of cartoons or scenes from comedy specials... so... basically the same things everyone else uses Youtube for. I live vicariously through others using my computer. Which is a nice way of saying I'm freaking bored. A lot.
So one of my subscriptions releases a video. A subscription that, to my chagrin, doesn't release all too often, despite the quality. Naturally I'm inclined to take a gander at anything he releases.
Stop me if you've heard this one before.
One thing leads to another. I find out that the episode, while parodying Marble Hornets, actually was inspired by some series called EverymanHYBRID. So I started watching the latter (and to this day have never seen an episode of the former, alas).
I believe M would call the first few episodes a game of 'hide a ghost, find the ghost'. Kind of a lame start, but considering the series I'd learned about it from... I could be patient.
Then the plot picked up. The first time I saw 'Slendy's' twisted head-bob Caramelldansen parody, I was simultaneously terrified and thrilled. I got up to date and started looking around for more info on this... phenomena.
Now, you will say this was stupid in hindsight. With what I know now, I would agree. Problem is, I wasn't aware of the little snag of our mutual Tallish Friend's existence until after I started reading these blogs... somewhere around 6 months after exposure to that first video.
So I spent months in blissful ignorance (or ignorant bliss, your pick), I guess. I just thought it was a very entertaining, well-coordinated story. I started working up my own theories, rewriting them as the plot thickened, scratching them altogether and starting over... that sort of thing.
It wouldn't be until about last August that I'd start to really ponder the truth in it. Had a migraine one day, got drugged up, stayed home. A little after noon, I sat up in bed, caught a glance out the window of my bedroom into the backyard and... my heart skipped a beat. Which SUCKED cause that wasn't any better for the agony in my shriveled brain. The panicked train of thought that followed went something to the effect of this:
Nooooo. No, that can't be right. I'm seeing things, I must be hallucinating. This can't be real. THIS ISN'T REAL.
I shut my eyes for a couple minutes as the light sensitivity started getting to me. My brain hurt too much to think about it. Tunnel vision started pushing into that area. But... curiosity is a powerful thing. I pried open an eye and took one more gander out-
Nothing. Of course nothing, stupid. It isn't real. None of it's be real. Just like those fairies you believed in in Pre-K or the dragons you so love now. It can't be real. You've been watching too much of that stupid internet series. That... or I'm going crazy.
A couple days later I did a little web research. The results... it was as if the internet itself wanted to slap me with the information "Sorry kid, migraines may confuse you, but hallucinations aren't common!" I didn't go much further into it. Every migraine is different, as my mother used to say. The internet had to be wrong, just this once.
Normally, I'm sure this would have ended with me spiraling into insanity after this sighting, constantly glancing out the window and checking over my shoulder for something that wouldn't be there. Well... not so much, actually. No more than I'd already been doing as a reflex for watching EverymanHYBRID. Which wasn't much worse than BEFORE exposure. I still wasn't sure what I'd seen, but without any rational explanations, I couldn't rule out any possibilities, could I?
Cut to about a month ago, now... Just a week before winter break would begin for me.
♪ It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday, everybody's looking forward to the weeke- ♪
Wow, I'm actually disappointed in myself for that. I swear, if I start singing any more of that again, I want the coldest proxy out there to come over and shoot me. Not that you were waiting for an invitation, of course... BACK TO THE TOPIC!
It's... actually not much of an interesting story, and you can probably guess at most of the details. Coming home from class, spot our mutual Tallish Friend on the road, heart skipped a beat, cease breathing, utterly FROZEN in fear staring into DAT FACE (which sucks cause I was crossing the street at that point), nearly get hit by a car if some kind (albeit loud and rude) gentleman hadn't pushed me out of the way, much yelling ensued involving questions of my sanity/parentage/general intelligence, that sort of thing.
Honestly, TPF just has the worst timing with these arrivals. If I didn't know any better I'd think OMTF was trying to kill- oh wait.

So since then I spent weeks debating with myself whether it'd be worth it to write some of this down, or to even just get myself involved further into this... whatever this is.
Guess we know what that result was.

Just... when I looked into DAT FACE (sorry, couldn't resist)... I felt something in my core. It wasn't malicious, it wasn't... Well I mean, it was blank, there wasn't anything I could call 'emotional' in it. I won't say anything about 'understanding', I refuse to believe anything about 'understanding' HHIZ intentions... but it was kind of like...
I felt death. I felt dead.
That terror used to be fun. Suddenly, it wasn't.

Perhaps that's what everyone else feels when they see DAT FACE (last time, promise), but... it's complicated to explain. It kinda reminded me of- just... nevermind.

I have time left alive? Fine. I'll use it. When the time comes though, I'm not going to scare OMTF off just so there can be an angrier return. This is it. Even if I have to make Him.
So if I seem too friendly or too forward, it's because... well, I don't want to go out on a bad note. And of course, I've got bigger fish to fry.
And you know what? So do the rest of you.


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