Saturday, January 21, 2012

Two Years

Sorry about not posting recently. I'd love to say it's because I was busy fighting Proxies, but I suppose it's more that I just haven't had anything noteworthy to say.
Incidentally, no, I haven't met a Proxy yet. Keyword "yet", of course. Get on that you lazy buggers.

But I do have something a little more noteworthy now.
Tomorrow is rather a special date for me, one I doubt I'll forget. It's the second anniversary of a day that changed my life. Incidentally, two years since I last wielded a blade.
Hard to believe it's been two years already. Sometimes it feels like longer.

Here's a question for ya...
Is it possible for the best and worst day of your life to be the same day?

Monday, January 16, 2012

Beginnings Beget Endings

So. I suppose I should make something just a tad bit more clear, since I really glossed over it earlier in my usual style.
I'm not sure- nobody can be sure- but I'm... shall we say ' reasonably confident' that my next encounter with our mutual Tallish Friend will be the death of me.
Another thing I want to be clear about: I'm not going to fight the damn thing when the reaper comes collecting.
I'm 'confident', again, that 'The Construct' only wants to play with HHIZ food (metaphorically speaking... or not) before it dies. I'm not going to play that game, much as TPF would enjoy it. Fighting would prolong the inevitable; even if I do fend TPF off, then what? Some proxy comes for my gizzard later? Maybe my friends and family get torn apart so as to 'get to me'? I can't just RUN AWAY, that's for sure. The simple solution is the best. It gets me out of this game and nobody else can blame me if they get hurt.
But I may as well help with what I can before I go, right? Get the word out, lend a few gr(e?/a?)y cells to the interwebz... You get the drift.

I figure as long as I still have the power to ramble on about... well, anything... that I should take the time to clear up my thus-far vague timeline in respects to all of this. I don't expect you to care of course, but if you're going to read this anyway, I may as well entertain you somehow.

It starts for me a little over a year ago.
I spend a lot of time on Youtube, see. I like watching Let's Plays of games I don't play, music videos to songs I'm too cheap to buy on iTunes, finding pirated episodes of cartoons or scenes from comedy specials... so... basically the same things everyone else uses Youtube for. I live vicariously through others using my computer. Which is a nice way of saying I'm freaking bored. A lot.
So one of my subscriptions releases a video. A subscription that, to my chagrin, doesn't release all too often, despite the quality. Naturally I'm inclined to take a gander at anything he releases.
Stop me if you've heard this one before.
One thing leads to another. I find out that the episode, while parodying Marble Hornets, actually was inspired by some series called EverymanHYBRID. So I started watching the latter (and to this day have never seen an episode of the former, alas).
I believe M would call the first few episodes a game of 'hide a ghost, find the ghost'. Kind of a lame start, but considering the series I'd learned about it from... I could be patient.
Then the plot picked up. The first time I saw 'Slendy's' twisted head-bob Caramelldansen parody, I was simultaneously terrified and thrilled. I got up to date and started looking around for more info on this... phenomena.
Now, you will say this was stupid in hindsight. With what I know now, I would agree. Problem is, I wasn't aware of the little snag of our mutual Tallish Friend's existence until after I started reading these blogs... somewhere around 6 months after exposure to that first video.
So I spent months in blissful ignorance (or ignorant bliss, your pick), I guess. I just thought it was a very entertaining, well-coordinated story. I started working up my own theories, rewriting them as the plot thickened, scratching them altogether and starting over... that sort of thing.
It wouldn't be until about last August that I'd start to really ponder the truth in it. Had a migraine one day, got drugged up, stayed home. A little after noon, I sat up in bed, caught a glance out the window of my bedroom into the backyard and... my heart skipped a beat. Which SUCKED cause that wasn't any better for the agony in my shriveled brain. The panicked train of thought that followed went something to the effect of this:
Nooooo. No, that can't be right. I'm seeing things, I must be hallucinating. This can't be real. THIS ISN'T REAL.
I shut my eyes for a couple minutes as the light sensitivity started getting to me. My brain hurt too much to think about it. Tunnel vision started pushing into that area. But... curiosity is a powerful thing. I pried open an eye and took one more gander out-
Nothing. Of course nothing, stupid. It isn't real. None of it's be real. Just like those fairies you believed in in Pre-K or the dragons you so love now. It can't be real. You've been watching too much of that stupid internet series. That... or I'm going crazy.
A couple days later I did a little web research. The results... it was as if the internet itself wanted to slap me with the information "Sorry kid, migraines may confuse you, but hallucinations aren't common!" I didn't go much further into it. Every migraine is different, as my mother used to say. The internet had to be wrong, just this once.
Normally, I'm sure this would have ended with me spiraling into insanity after this sighting, constantly glancing out the window and checking over my shoulder for something that wouldn't be there. Well... not so much, actually. No more than I'd already been doing as a reflex for watching EverymanHYBRID. Which wasn't much worse than BEFORE exposure. I still wasn't sure what I'd seen, but without any rational explanations, I couldn't rule out any possibilities, could I?
Cut to about a month ago, now... Just a week before winter break would begin for me.
♪ It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday, everybody's looking forward to the weeke- ♪
Wow, I'm actually disappointed in myself for that. I swear, if I start singing any more of that again, I want the coldest proxy out there to come over and shoot me. Not that you were waiting for an invitation, of course... BACK TO THE TOPIC!
It's... actually not much of an interesting story, and you can probably guess at most of the details. Coming home from class, spot our mutual Tallish Friend on the road, heart skipped a beat, cease breathing, utterly FROZEN in fear staring into DAT FACE (which sucks cause I was crossing the street at that point), nearly get hit by a car if some kind (albeit loud and rude) gentleman hadn't pushed me out of the way, much yelling ensued involving questions of my sanity/parentage/general intelligence, that sort of thing.
Honestly, TPF just has the worst timing with these arrivals. If I didn't know any better I'd think OMTF was trying to kill- oh wait.

So since then I spent weeks debating with myself whether it'd be worth it to write some of this down, or to even just get myself involved further into this... whatever this is.
Guess we know what that result was.

Just... when I looked into DAT FACE (sorry, couldn't resist)... I felt something in my core. It wasn't malicious, it wasn't... Well I mean, it was blank, there wasn't anything I could call 'emotional' in it. I won't say anything about 'understanding', I refuse to believe anything about 'understanding' HHIZ intentions... but it was kind of like...
I felt death. I felt dead.
That terror used to be fun. Suddenly, it wasn't.

Perhaps that's what everyone else feels when they see DAT FACE (last time, promise), but... it's complicated to explain. It kinda reminded me of- just... nevermind.

I have time left alive? Fine. I'll use it. When the time comes though, I'm not going to scare OMTF off just so there can be an angrier return. This is it. Even if I have to make Him.
So if I seem too friendly or too forward, it's because... well, I don't want to go out on a bad note. And of course, I've got bigger fish to fry.
And you know what? So do the rest of you.


Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bureaucracy of The Blind

Can someone please explain to me how that is supposed to bloody work?

From what I understand (which I'm certain is flawed given that 'understanding' is a generous term for me), our mutual Tallish Friend appoints some 'Prophet' figure, who appoints various zealously-devoted members of the 'Cult' in authority positions running agencies that employ a group of stark-raving lunatics (and a few scattered examples of rational people who are exempt from my... whatever this is) who think they're killing in the name of a deific figure with ambiguous intentions.
Which, yes, explains all deific figures fairly accurately, I'm sure.

What I'd like to know: Why in the blazes would said stark-raving lunatics believe someone who claims to be said Prophet? Until recently I've been skeptical of anyone's ability to actually INTERPRET our mutual Tallish Friend's ANYTHING, much less intentions.
Until Bondie mentioned he could hear TPF. Whether that's different or not isn't my call. I'm working on my own theories about that, is all I can say.
Alright, maybe 'lunatics' is a little bit harsh. I can understand why a figure who causes the blind to see, the deaf to hear, the dead to rise and the very laws of reality to be torn asunder on a small scale (all, mind, just by proximity) would lead one to that assumption. I choose to remain skeptical, and it's prejudiced of me to resort to insults. I'm sorry.
But let's face it, all of THIS confusion just to kill people for no discernible end? Which will likely end in the deaths of EVERYONE involved, not just the Runners and Fighters?

The only way that would make sense, on a human level- if it really is run by humans, and ignoring the Obvious One- is if you were insane.

Friday, January 13, 2012

On HHIZ Knees

In my last post I mentioned the possibility of TPF being weakened by HHIZ own Proxies. But that's just a theory, of course, so what do we KNOW?
In short? Nothing! We don't know anything as far as weaknesses go. We can make assumptions based on past experience, of course, while going under the assumption that our mutual Tallish Friend has an aversion to lying about HHIZ capabilities. You don't need to speak false truths to bluff.
The bluff metaphor is oddly appropriate, actually.
Remember when I said this was a game? I didn't mean one that we're playing. We're just the toys.
But perhaps even extradimensional thought-constructed non-entities have a concept of gaming, fun, and rules? Even if TPF is actually invincible by human standards, limitations could be set on the Tall One's game, by HHIZself.
... Okay, phonetically, that sounded like some half-retarded attempt to sound 'gangsta'. My bad.

Back on topic, it just means one needs to take advantage of them before TPF understands cheating as well. So just to pick out a few of these possibly-self-inflicted 'rules'...

1. Subject may(?) have some aversion to EITHER man-made structures OR elevation
This is one that's been hinted at by M's rule of 'getting up high', and has been recently re-examined by The Gargoyle. Conventional man-made weapons have little-to-no effect on TPF, of course, but buildings seem to wear it down a bit. There's a possibility that TPF understands us and our structures as little as we understand TPF, and would be gawking at our structures as much as we would at the city of R'lyeh.
Oh no, did I just blow my cover on that one? Drat.
The other possibility is that TPF can't handle the fluctuating pressures caused by rapid gain in height or depth, and thus must slow down. Depends on if you've ever seen the Tall One climb a tree before.

2. Subject has an aversion to water
One of the few things that's been "proven" (using the term as loosely as is healthy) to work in warding off our mutual Tallish Friend is water. Kind of. Only moving, open water has been shown to have effect, and even then there's the fact that TPF has moved between continents freely. While it's interesting to contemplate TPF having a fear of drowning, perhaps something about proximity to the tides and currents keeps it away? Getting to that in a bit.*

3. Subject has a connection to forests and nature(?)
This one has never been really 'defined'. I've always assumed it was because TPF had the most opportunity to disappear in the forests, 'Slenderwalking' from the blindspots the trees provide, but perhaps there's something more to it. This needs to be looked into further... I say as if there's any feasible way to research this phenomena... but perhaps someone could try burning down a forest with TPF inside you know what? I'm just sticking to 'look into it'.

4. Subject has some aversion to electricity
KK Collins, wherever she is now, was absolutely BRILLIANT in the procurement of this information. I'm not saying this one drives TPF off, no sir, TPF was absolutely LIVID about being shot by a bolt of lightning.* (A similarity to humans, perhaps?) But it may have stunned or even harmed TPF... if only temporarily.

5. Subject has been repelled by showtunes
Self-explanatory. KK again. It's difficult to tell if the positive energy of the music drives it away as KK said, if it's the erratic sound waves of the song that repel it,* or if TPF is just a really harsh critic.
Which actually explains a lot, but I'm getting farther away from the point.

6. Subject can be confused, or even have what could best be described as 'anxiety', under unusual circumstances
Do you really need to ask who I'm citing for this? Rest in peace, Mad Maduin, how I would have loved to meet you. Or at least ask if you'd be too disappointed I'm overusing your acronym.

7. Subject reacts negatively to mirrors (and cameras... ish)
Not that I advocate the use of the mirror,* but during the experiment I have just improperly cited, Kay found that the same noise TPF makes on camera is made against a mirror, so congratulations: your camera is just fine.
Although... the cameras capture the imagery/energy that Kay said the mirrors reflect, so maybe the camera eats the reaction for the Tall One. In which case your camera's absolutely screwed.
And may technically be haunted. And no priest can exorcise or bless it enough for you.
I'd like to say it's just because TPF hates HHIZ reflection more than an anorexic schoolgirl does, but given the lack of visible eyes, that's another one 'to be looked into'.

8. Subject has mixed reactions to "magic"
I get the feeling that if I were a practicing sorcerer or wizard or whatever that this would be a big steaming pile of basilisk dung spelled out into the letters D-U-H. Followed by a cloud of flies trying to form the letters V-A-G-U-E while swarming said feces. I apologize for not being clear enough to say what stones and herbs and symbols and foci actually work. I've read at least two reports of summoning/sending-type spells working quite effectively, and warding spells working inconsistently, but I really can't get any more specific beyond that.
There's enough practitioners out there that my speed-reading powers do me little good. That and since I have no idea how magic really functions- much to my annoyance and chagrin- I can't honestly define what does and doesn't work about it.

* Theory time!
Just to pull a few items with commonalities from out of the mix: Water, Electricity, Sound, Reflections/Light.

What if our mutual Tallish Friend has an aversion to anything that moves in a wave or current? I still don't know about things like the wind, but it's worth looking into, no?
I mean, yes, each of these items has their own way or reasoning behind repelling TPF, so expanding the field may be seen as a bit of a stretch. More individual testing would need to be completed by someone more capable than I, of course- Perhaps someone should try exposing The Construct to the activities of a church bell or one of those lamps used to kill bacteria, and observing the reactions?

Of course, don't be surprised- and be ready to run like the dickens- if it serves only to make TPF angry.

Has this terminology annoyed you yet? 'Cause I simply refuse to call the creature without any distinguishing sexual characteristics 'Him' just because some misguided fool decided to stick 'Man' at the end of the name.

Anyway, this is everything I've heard works from my readings thus far. I've got a LOT of catching up to do though...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


I ponder this term quite often. A creature in existence solely due to a single thought shared between a mass of people, conglomerating into one entity. I used to think of this as sort of... a reverse Quantum Theory, multiple minds changing their universe rather than one mind making a new one.
From what I heartell (and by that I mean what I've been reading), bloggers such as a certain Robert Sagel popularized this theory behind the existence of our mutual Tallish Friend, in that the Tulpa Effect allowed said Tallish Friend to enter our world from Zirlikscht's (getting too long to type... hmm) own through our depictions of it. Or something like that, right?

Such a wonderful theory, too bad it's all wrong. Or perhaps just incomplete?

Consider for a moment: If the Tulpa Effect were real, why was TPF allowed in, rather than something else? Many of the people who know of HHIZ existence are killed by TPF or a Proxy anyway, so the following can't really be that large, right?
If that offhanded idea shared between a few people worked, then (to use some examples with a wider following) where are my dragons? Almost every culture in the world has at some point believed in the existence of dragons or equivalent creatures- the wyrm, the lung, the coatl, the wyvern, the lindworm, the zmey, the naga, not to mention anything that was given a NAME... Where are my unicorns? Where are my phoenixes, sphinxes, pegasi, kirin, gryphons, hippogryphs, dwarves, djinn, elementals, fair folk, smurfs and laser-mounted sharksI'mgettingsofarofftopic?
Assuming any of these live in the Astral Plane I've been hearing about, shouldn't they be able to cross over too, and probably in greater numbers to match a greater following?

But see, there's a difference: how far the belief goes. Not to be absolutely morbid, but how many of those people who believed in dragons took that idea to their graves? How many of them truly believed they were being KILLED by, or in the name of, a creature they've never actually seen before in this world?
Now the number drops to a few scattered and unrecorded incidents in the dark ages, doesn't it. Possibly even a smaller following than that of our Tallish Friend.

And now Dear Reader begins to see where I'm heading with this ball.

The problem is one can still tell the Tallish Friend shouldn't exist in this world, and never honestly believed in HHIZ existence until they saw TPF up close for themselves, so there's no natural reason to believe at time of death, right? "So how do you explain that away?"
Hasn't it already been said that TPF isn't affected by the same boundaries of time we are?

Let's call what I'm about to explain... Giles' Paradox Theory. Keyword being theory of course! Do feel free to criticize and call me a tool provide exceptions you've already noted.

It's really quite simple. You don't truly believe in 'The Construct'- at least, not enough for the Tulpa Effect's occurrence- until the moment you're about to die. You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes in that moment? Well, maybe not all of it, but certainly enough to ask yourself "how did it come to this point?" So you simultaneously see all instances of TPF's effect on your life in a second... and that one Essential Moment is all TPF needs to sneak into your life forever, a moment strong enough for it to truly exist. TPF takes a few steps back and plants the idea of its own existence in your mind earlier on- perhaps a video, a forum post, a hieroglyphic- which catalyzes when the Essential Moment occurs, ensuring HHIZ existence. An endless loop forms. The paradox in question. You are essentially screwed by destiny.

Which of course means that every time someone dies, TPF becomes a stronger part of this universe, because more and more people acknowledge 'The Construct' as their dying thought. Also, that the reason things like, oh... the Solstice wouldn't work, is that you have no influence over 'The Construct' until after these things should have already happened.
If I'm saying this right, then it might also mean that whenever a Proxy kills someone- at least, without telling them they're a Proxy, rather just going up and stabbing a guy without some big show for viewers with the attention spans of goldfish- there is a chance(!) that they weaken their own master.

Suddenly, "why don't you just shoot him" seems like less of a solid suggestion, doesn't it?

Monday, January 9, 2012



Last post’s been up long enough now there’s really no point in removing it, especially now that at least two eyes have glanced over it.
Unless Mr. Cage doesn't have two eyes. Which would be interesting. Painful to imagine, possibly cruel to mention, but interesting to ponderofftopic right!
EDIT: Screw it, taking it out anyway for the future. 
Besides, I’m sure there’re other ways to divine my name (and even more personal information) without so much consent, or it would come to light eventually.
So, what’s done is done. All I can do is move forward, as they say! So I may as well expand on what I already began in my last post, to avoid some questions later. Because why not? “Oh whoa, this guy likes pecan pie, let’s bait him into a dark alleyway with free pecan pie and box him in!” Yeah. Right… Pecan's not good enough for a dark alley. Maybe strawberry though.
So just to get the truthfulness out of the way, I live in NARNIA in the city of RL'YEH inside a BAKERY TREE (you know, for Keebler elves!) on a STAR WHALE'S BACK with A UNICORN and A PILE OF CHOKED SMURFS (incidentally, purple) for the past SINCE I STARTED TALKING, attending HOGWARTS occasionally and hoping to get a degree in POKEMON MASTERY. Introductions will be so much easier with that off my chest.
Like I’ve already said, I’ve seen TPF twice. The first time was about 5-6 months ago, although I figured it was just a hallucination at the time; I'm not crazy (mostly), I was having a migraine and figured it was a side-effect. Crazier things have happened, one time under a migraine I thought the community swimming pool was full ofbacktothedamntopic! Second time was a couple weeks ago, (that is the last time I saw Zirlikscht not my last migraine, which is just irrelevant now) and due to the increasing frequency of certain inexplicable incidents, I’ve been considering this option ever since. 
Blogging, I mean. It's hard to remember sometimes that gesturing at the screen means any more than diddly squat when Dear Reader isn't here.
Dear Reader is you, of course. As opposed to a deer reader, which... I don't think exists.
Back on topic, I’ve had this impending sense these past couple weeks that my next sighting will be the death of me. Makes sense given stoppingmyselfbeforeIstartrambling! Point is it’s been making me a little… let’s use the word ‘uneasy’ and work our way up from there.
What else is there to say really? I’ve never been a fan of sports, although my best friend and I have had some success practicing with swords (katana, scimitar, fencing foil, saber, you know, nothing too fancy) and quarterstaves (because we were already beating each other with sticks, of course!), but I'm not particularly confident enough in my abilities for a game of Sword-Spell-Shotgun as I only beat him in a "duel" once, what seems like forever ago; I'm a thinker, not a Fighter. 
He was going to teach me some archery and marksmanship too but… we never really got around to it. It doesn’t help that I don’t have necessarily steady hands…
I like computers, furry animals, and (obviously) swords, basically all three of which I've picked up from my parents… I enjoy music, singing, caffeinated sodas, good food, mythology, and reading fantasy novels. I hate dealing with snakes, public speaking and heights (so basically all of the most common phobias…), and my pet peeves include people taking long pauses when talking, and making irrelevant anecdotes. One could even say I can't stand them have the urge to beat anyone who begins one with a stick.
Another thing to note about having this blog: I can see myself horrendously abusing the ability to make said irrelevant anecdotes.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Biding My Time

The dreaded first post. I suppose I should start with some cliched prose about the beginning of journeys and the hoisting of sails and whathaveyou. Trouble is this isn't actually the beginning for me so much as the final realization of weeks of debate with myself (and losing, naturally; perhaps I should get that checked out). I don't usually enjoy writing but... do what you gotta do, eh?

So... Not a journey then. Perhaps a game? Games are made for amusement after all, and I'm sure someone somewhere will find this absolutely hilarious in hindsight. Even if I don't.

But I'm getting ahead of myself of course! Perhaps I should begin with an introduction.
My name is <REDACTED>, not that it's important, and I'd prefer the Dear Reader didn't abuse it too much. I live in a galaxy known to humans as the Milky Way, orbiting a star called the Sun by its closest sentient appraisers, on a planet called Earth, on a landmass floating over water called a continent, in a primarily English-speaking country. That oughta narrow it down shouldn't it?
...Don't look at me like that's overdone even then we both know it is. (But so is starting with an introduction!) More specific? Fine, be that way. The continent's name ends with a vowel.

Skipping right to the point, I've seen the figure many of you refer to as The Construct, The Operator, Father/God, "Slendy", or one of my personal favorites I'm now stealing, Tall Pale and Faceless.
Got your attention now, haven't I? Good.
(To be honest, if I hadn't put that out there, I'd forget to. At least this way you can remind me when I do!)
More specifically, by this point I've seen him twice. Well... Twice that I can say for CERTAIN I saw using my eyeballs; technically more, depending on your thoughts on (His? Her? Its?... Zirlikschten? Yes I just made that up, like you never have.) existence in the minds of others. It all kind of blends together after a whileI'mramblingshutmeup. Oh wait no, I'm allowed to ramble here... This is already too much power for one man to have.
The appropriate follow-up to that statement feels like it should be an evil laugh. Alas, I lack the energy, go on without me perhaps another time.
That and evil laughter really doesn't translate to its fullest effect over the internet. Neither does sarcasm. Accents can though, ironically enough...

Right, lost my place, this is why I shouldn't ramble, where was I... Oh right, I wasn't anywhere. I have to make a place now. That place would be... this blog.
Huh. I am found now?
Well I suppose if you're reading this then the answer is yes... Oh right! Someone is reading this!