Continued...

<MASSIVE REDACTED PARAGRAPH ABOUT A NAME THAT ISN'T THERE ANYMORE>

Last post’s been up long enough now there’s really no point in removing it, especially now that at least two eyes have glanced over it.

Unless Mr. Cage doesn't have two eyes. Which would be interesting. Painful to imagine, possibly cruel to mention, but interesting to ponderofftopic right!
EDIT: Screw it, taking it out anyway for the future. 
Besides, I’m sure there’re other ways to divine my name (and even more personal information) without so much consent, or it would come to light eventually.
So, what’s done is done. All I can do is move forward, as they say! So I may as well expand on what I already began in my last post, to avoid some questions later. Because why not? “Oh whoa, this guy likes pecan pie, let’s bait him into a dark alleyway with free pecan pie and box him in!” Yeah. Right… Pecan's not good enough for a dark alley. Maybe strawberry though.

So just to get the truthfulness out of the way, I live in NARNIA in the city of RL'YEH inside a BAKERY TREE (you know, for Keebler elves!) on a STAR WHALE'S BACK with A UNICORN and A PILE OF CHOKED SMURFS (incidentally, purple) for the past SINCE I STARTED TALKING, attending HOGWARTS occasionally and hoping to get a degree in POKEMON MASTERY. Introductions will be so much easier with that off my chest.

Like I’ve already said, I’ve seen TPF twice. The first time was about 5-6 months ago, although I figured it was just a hallucination at the time; I'm not crazy (mostly), I was having a migraine and figured it was a side-effect. Crazier things have happened, one time under a migraine I thought the community swimming pool was full ofbacktothedamntopic! Second time was a couple weeks ago, (that is the last time I saw Zirlikscht not my last migraine, which is just irrelevant now) and due to the increasing frequency of certain inexplicable incidents, I’ve been considering this option ever since. 

Blogging, I mean. It's hard to remember sometimes that gesturing at the screen means any more than diddly squat when Dear Reader isn't here.

Dear Reader is you, of course. As opposed to a deer reader, which... I don't think exists.

Back on topic, I’ve had this impending sense these past couple weeks that my next sighting will be the death of me. Makes sense given stoppingmyselfbeforeIstartrambling! Point is it’s been making me a little… let’s use the word ‘uneasy’ and work our way up from there.

What else is there to say really? I’ve never been a fan of sports, although my best friend and I have had some success practicing with swords (katana, scimitar, fencing foil, saber, you know, nothing too fancy) and quarterstaves (because we were already beating each other with sticks, of course!), but I'm not particularly confident enough in my abilities for a game of Sword-Spell-Shotgun as I only beat him in a "duel" once, what seems like forever ago; I'm a thinker, not a Fighter. 
He was going to teach me some archery and marksmanship too but… we never really got around to it. It doesn’t help that I don’t have necessarily steady hands…
I like computers, furry animals, and (obviously) swords, basically all three of which I've picked up from my parents… I enjoy music, singing, caffeinated sodas, good food, mythology, and reading fantasy novels. I hate dealing with snakes, public speaking and heights (so basically all of the most common phobias…), and my pet peeves include people taking long pauses when talking, and making irrelevant anecdotes. One could even say I can't stand them have the urge to beat anyone who begins one with a stick.

Another thing to note about having this blog: I can see myself horrendously abusing the ability to make said irrelevant anecdotes.

Biding My Time

The dreaded first post. I suppose I should start with some cliched prose about the beginning of journeys and the hoisting of sails and whathaveyou. Trouble is this isn't actually the beginning for me so much as the final realization of weeks of debate with myself (and losing, naturally; perhaps I should get that checked out). I don't usually enjoy writing but... do what you gotta do, eh?

So... Not a journey then. Perhaps a game? Games are made for amusement after all, and I'm sure someone somewhere will find this absolutely hilarious in hindsight. Even if I don't.

But I'm getting ahead of myself of course! Perhaps I should begin with an introduction.
My name is <REDACTED>, not that it's important, and I'd prefer the Dear Reader didn't abuse it too much. I live in a galaxy known to humans as the Milky Way, orbiting a star called the Sun by its closest sentient appraisers, on a planet called Earth, on a landmass floating over water called a continent, in a primarily English-speaking country. That oughta narrow it down shouldn't it?
...Don't look at me like that's overdone even then we both know it is. (But so is starting with an introduction!) More specific? Fine, be that way. The continent's name ends with a vowel.

Skipping right to the point, I've seen the figure many of you refer to as The Construct, The Operator, Father/God, "Slendy", or one of my personal favorites I'm now stealing, Tall Pale and Faceless.
Got your attention now, haven't I? Good.
(To be honest, if I hadn't put that out there, I'd forget to. At least this way you can remind me when I do!)
More specifically, by this point I've seen him twice. Well... Twice that I can say for CERTAIN I saw using my eyeballs; technically more, depending on your thoughts on (His? Her? Its?... Zirlikschten? Yes I just made that up, like you never have.) existence in the minds of others. It all kind of blends together after a whileI'mramblingshutmeup. Oh wait no, I'm allowed to ramble here... This is already too much power for one man to have.
The appropriate follow-up to that statement feels like it should be an evil laugh. Alas, I lack the energy, go on without me perhaps another time.
That and evil laughter really doesn't translate to its fullest effect over the internet. Neither does sarcasm. Accents can though, ironically enough...

Right, lost my place, this is why I shouldn't ramble, where was I... Oh right, I wasn't anywhere. I have to make a place now. That place would be... this blog.
Huh. I am found now?
Well I suppose if you're reading this then the answer is yes... Oh right! Someone is reading this!

Hello.